Day 4

So today, i woke up, helped my dad to look around the shop. Did nothing much, but reading all those stupid article about how a sagittarius girl's act. Right now i realized how stupid am i to read and.. i dont think it could solve anyway. :((

Day 4, day by day i hope it will all gone, but in the mean time, right now im figuring out how will i react if i see you once again :( I've no idea, no clue. I wish things will still be how it used to. But, thats just a dream anyway. Break up is about moving yourself out of oneself. Right now, I'm withdrawing myself from her. It's not easy, perhaps, it hard.

Indeed, a relationship needed a lot of trust and honesty. I loved her, but i was too insecure, too sensitive about everything. And that is how it leads so much arguments. I loved her, but i've no idea how to love her in the right way. I know she loved me too, but that was the past. She moved on. She doesn't cares anymore. This somehow told me that, I should move on instead of living in sadness that haunt me so badly.

I've always got the wrong idea of shes being busy and she doesnt care anymore, in fact, when she's busy, she still care, she still come over once shes free, she spent all her free time to me, she put her everything aside just to spend time with me. This is how selfish am i when im with her. I'm sorry. I didn't realised all these small parts.

I missed you so much. I didnt care enough to text you, cause i was wondering, will you text me one day? I'm holding so much tears and pain while I'm doing this. Its never easy for me to walk out my life without you. Once you told me, love can be free. I strongly against it, but right now i realized how big my mistakes was. How self-centred was i.

We used to argue over how your friends judged me. But right now, i realized, i should be proud that you've chosen me instead of them. Love should be kind, patient and proud. You gave me all those, but I'm too stupid to not appreciate you enough in that moment.

If time allows, not to say that I tolerate or try to not be myself if there is another chance. But I've definitely understand all these. In fact, I shouldnt neglect things that happening around me and myself. If there's another chance, I don't mind not spending as much time as how we used to, but I'll take all the time to do things that I loved. I should trust, giving you freedom and love not being a pessimistic person, whine about the world.

Thanks for teaching me a life-time lesson. Thanks for loving me in the past 1 year. You're wonderful. And i doubt that I'll find someone as beautiful, wonderful, lovely and sincere as you. Someday, i'll see you again.